the love boat and nothingness
November 23, 2006
I am deeply indebted to Elat Chayyim. The individuals who had the courage and vision to create such an authentic container of holiness humble me. I am one of thousands of people who gave myself the gift of an EC spiritual retreat.
My first taste was a David Cooper silent seven-day meditation retreat. I really went for it. On day four I experienced the blissful connection of oneness only to be interrupted on day five by the fear of seeing beneath my proverbial mask. I pushed the practice too far. I honestly forgot my name and my immature mind wasn't ready for that trip. I wore a nametag that clearly spelled out who I thought I was but reading it over and over I was still empty.
I sat on a hill overlooking the parking lot. My mind informed me, "Go find the mini van, it will bring you back to who you are." I needed to hold the largest material object in my possession... a 1992 Toyota Previa mini van called the 'Love Boat'. I went to find myself and ended up finding something much more significant, nothingness. I forget about being nothing most of my waking life, but that first taste at Elat Chayyim altered what i think is, me... forever.
Seven years later I'm honored to be the new Director of The Elat Chayyim Center for Jewish Spirituality. It's a title I'm proud and terrified to hold as we rebirth ourselves at the Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center. I'm aware of the tremendous sense of responsibility. I used to sleep better.
Elat Chayyim isn't the only heavy-duty responsibility I've gotten recently. I've been a dad now for 17 months. When I watch my son Jacob smile I'm once again faced with a secret of nothingness... it's filled with overabundant love.
Peace be with you....
Ari